Gangs of Konoha
by Xe7Cloud
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke are assigned to kill someone by their boss. You don't screw with Konoha and live to tell the tale. Naruto in a Gangster Universe. M Rating: Strong Language, Violence.
1. The Snake

Sasuke drove down the street in his car, one hand on the wheel and the other resting comfortably on the door. Naruto sat beside him in the passenger's seat staring out the window at the clouds as they passed by.

Naruto broke the silence "This guy that we have to kill… uh what was his fucking name again?"

"Boss called him 'The Snake' but I don't think that's his Christian name" Sasuke responded, taking out a cigarette and placing it in his mouth.

"Shit, you got a light?" Sasuke asked, remembering that he forgot his lighter.

Naruto obliged and flicked out his lighter producing a flame.

"The Snake huh? Well I don't really give a fuck about his name anyway. What I do want to know is why the boss wants him dead" Naruto stated as he watched Sasuke light his cigarette.

Sasuke thanked Naruto for the light before explaining "Well from what I understand 'The Snake' borrowed money from the boss and he couldn't pay it back. The boss sent over some guys to break his legs… you know, as a gentle reminder that he's still in our debt"

"Yeah and then what happened?" Naruto enquired further.

Sasuke took a drag of his cigarette and continued "Well that's where we come in. Apparently the bastard skipped town because he was nowhere to be found in the entire village. However the boss got some intel about where he might be staying"

"Ah so that's where we're heading" Naruto smirked as he got the gist of things.

"Exactly, and when we get there we'll take him and put a bullet in his head" Sasuke said, after exhaling a lung full of smoke.

"Sounds good, but goddamn… do you really have to smoke this much? I mean I do sometimes but you smoke like a pack a day!" Naruto exclaimed, fanning the smoke away from his face.

"For God's sake you sound like Sakura. She's been nagging me to stop smoking for a while now" Sasuke complained, taking another drag of his cigarette.

"It because she gives a damn about you… one of the few people who actually do" Naruto joked at his partner's expense.

"Ugh fuck you, if I died, you would cry enough for everybody at my funeral" Sasuke retorted venomously at his partner.

Naruto chuckled and returned his focus out the window where he saw a sign.

"Welcome to Otagakure." he read it aloud.

"Also known as the village hidden in the sound, or land of the sound, or some shit like that. But that's not important, the point is that this is where we need to be" Sasuke intervened.

"Thank God! This drive took way too fucking long. I need to get out to walk and stretch my legs" Naruto complained restlessly in his seat.

"Well, this snake motherfucker that we're currently looking for probably slithered into the deepest, darkest alleyway of this godforsaken village" Sasuke sighed as he explained the situation.

He took one final drag of his cigarette before flicking it out the window "So don't worry your pretty little head. We'll be doing quite a bit of walking"

"How the fuck are we supposed to catch this guy? We don't even know what he looks like" Naruto questioned, scratching his head.

"Well if you paid attention in the briefing that Kakashi gave us you would remember that he gave me a picture of the target" Sasuke stated as he searched through his pockets.

"C'mon Sasuke you're a smart kid. In our ten year partnership when have I ever paid attention to those mission briefings?" Naruto questioned jokingly.

"Whatever" Sasuke sighed as he finally retrieved the picture from a pocket on the inside of his jacket. He glanced at the picture momentarily before handing it over to his partner, who observed the man carefully.

"Hahaha I know why the boss calls him The Snake. He the spitting image of one" Naruto laughed uncontrollably.

Sasuke smirked as well but held in the laughter "Alright, alright enough of the fun and games. The boss hired us to kill this son of a bitch not to sit here on our asses and laugh all day"

"Okay fine, what's our plan of action then?" Naruto asked still chuckling a bit as he passed the photo back to Sasuke.

"Well I've been giving it some consideration and it's kind of complex so try to keep up. We'll walk around…and ask people if they have seen him" Sasuke stated sarcastically.

"Well shit I was expecting something a little more uh elaborate" Naruto said, scratching his head.

"I suppose we could ask Scooby Doo to help us. We'd get to ride in the Mystery Machine and everything, it'll be fucking splendid" Sasuke responded sarcastically once more as he stopped at a red light.

"Alright enough of the sarcasm you little prick. When are we going to start searching for the target?" Naruto replied as he looked around at the buildings and the people on the street.

The light changed to green and so Sasuke stepped on the gas "For now we'll just drive around the village and try to familiarize ourselves with our new surroundings"

"Ah okay that makes sense" Naruto admitted, nodding his head affirmatively.

Otogakure was a relatively small village, the reconnaissance therefore didn't take very long. By the time they had finished it was already past 4 in the afternoon.

Sasuke parked the car and turned it off. His focus was fixed on the park across the street before turning to his partner "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah let's go" Naruto said, letting out a big yawn and taking a long stretch

"What the fuck is that?" Sasuke questioned, narrowing his eyes at the blond.

"What are talking about?" Naruto asked, turning to face him.

"You said that you were ready to go but immediately after you yawned and stretched like you just fucking woke up from a long night's sleep. You're kind of sending mixed signals" Sasuke retorted angrily.

"Does it even fucking matter dude?" Naruto questioned.

"Yes it fucking matters. That's like if you asked me for help and I say sure no problem and then when I'm helping you I'm constantly fucking complaining that I have to help you" Sasuke explained.

Naruto scoffed "Oh please you're just overreacting again. Stop being such a drama queen"

"Just give me my goddamn gun" Sasuke sighed, pointing to the glove compartment box.

Naruto opened it, revealing two revolvers. He took them both out and handed one to his partner and kept one for himself.

"Why are we at the park? Are we going to have a picnic or something?" Naruto asked sarcastically while concealing his gun.

"There's a lot of people here so hopefully one of them has seen the snake in question" Sasuke answered, concealing his weapon as well.

They both exited the car and made their way towards the park to find some answers about their elusive target.

***Author's Notes***

Hey everyone welcome to my new story. I'm a pretty huge fan of Gangster films so I finally decided to do a gangster fic because, why the hell not?

This will be a pretty short fic, I've got a general idea of how the story will progress and it shouldn't be more than 5 chapters. Unless you guys want more in which case I could probably stretch the story out.

Also I do apologise for the OoC instances. I'll try and keep them to a minimum.

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed it. See you in the next one

-Cloud


	2. Gathering Intel

Naruto and Sasuke crossed the street and entered the park. They sat down on an empty bench and began a short discussion.

"Alright, Otogakure is a small village. A speck on the map compared to Konoha. Therefore I'm willing to wager that the people who live here probably know each other fairly well" Sasuke explained.

"Yeah that's true, the residents of Konoha live like a family, even though it's a pretty big place. This village is much smaller and less populated so it's probably a more close-knit community" Naruto reasoned out.

Sasuke took out the picture of the target "And that works out perfectly for us. If the people here see some creepy motherfucker enter their village they might be a little suspicious"

He pointed to the picture "And this motherfucker certainly qualifies as creepy"

"Looks like Lady Luck is on our side. But wait, don't we seem kind of suspect ourselves. I mean we're two guys dressed in suits asking about a suspicious looking motherfucker in a photograph. People might be sort of uh hesitant to talk with us" Naruto said looking slightly unsure.

"Hmm let's just say that he committed a crime, some diabolical shit you know?" Sasuke said after a bit of thinking.

"Yeah that'll work I guess. They'll probably think we're FBI or some shit" Naruto chuckled.

They both stood up and surveyed the area for someone they could potentially ask. Naruto then pointed to someone "What about that guy?"

Sasuke examined the man. He had spiky brown hair, red markings on both cheeks and he was walking his dog. They approached him.

"Good evening sir, have you seen this man?" Sasuke asked, handing him the picture.

"Holy shit! Are you guys like CIA or something?" he asked, before looking at the photo.

Sasuke expressionlessly looked at him "…Yeah sure, whatever. Have you seen him?"

The man looked at the picture and then turned to Naruto, who was standing next to Sasuke "Dude is this guy like a fucking criminal or something. What did he do?"

Naruto stammered "Err he's a uh serial child molester"

Sasuke glared at his partner and then subsequently face palmed.

"A serial child molester eh? I had a feeling he was when I looked at the photo. He's got a great fucking head of hair though. I wish I could grow some shit like that" the man said nodding to himself.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in bewilderment "This motherfucker's crazy" they both thought.

"So um have you seen him around town?" Naruto asked once more.

The man handed the photo back to Sasuke "I'm sorry fellas I ain't seen shit"

Naruto frowned "Are you sure? Even the slightest bit of information could be extremely useful to us"

The man pondered deeply "Hmm well this guy has some pretty radiant hair, it's beautiful really. I'd say he uses Suave Professional Shampoo"

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other again, however this time with an annoyed expression.

Naruto was the first to speak "Well buddy, I stand corrected. That was the single most useless piece of information that I have ever heard in my entire fucking life"

"Hey you said that any information would be helpful!" he retorted.

"Okay I'll just go and contact the fucking founder of Suave and tell him that-" Naruto yelled before he was interrupted by Sasuke.

"Thanks for your time" Sasuke said as he grabbed Naruto and dragged him away.

"What's your fucking problem?" Sasuke asked his partner.

"My problem is that dude was absolutely fucking useless!" Naruto replied.

"Fuck him, I'm not talking about his useless ass. Why in God's name did you say he was a fucking serial child molester of all things?" Sasuke asked once more.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders "I don't know, I couldn't think of anything else. It was just the first thing that came to mind"

"You literally could have picked any crime you wanted. But the first thing that comes into your head is a fucking serial child molester" Sasuke sighed as he took out a cigarette.

"Hey don't patronize me you asshole. You're the one who said 'diabolical shit'. And I think serial child molester is considered diabolical shit!" Naruto said in his defence.

Sasuke got a light from his partner and took a drag of his cigarette "Alright let's just move on and ask someone else"

"Okay let's ask a chick this time, they're more perceptive or some shit" Naruto advised.

Sasuke obliged and approached a blonde haired girl with blue eyes "Hello miss, have you seen the man in this picture.

"Hello handsome" she said before observing the photo "Sorry darling but I've never seen this man in my life"

"Is that so? Well thanks for your time" Sasuke said as he put away the photo.

"Why are you looking for him?" She asked.

"Umm he's err a uh… serial child molester" Sasuke stuttered, cringing internally.

Naruto turned to his partner with the biggest grin on his face, Sasuke ignored him.

"Sorry I can't help you. But I haven't seen your face around these parts. You're not from here are you?" The blonde enquired

"That's correct" Sasuke replied simply.

"Well do you have any plans for tonight?" she asked.

Sasuke raised his left hand revealing a ring on his finger "I'm married"

"So?" she replied playfully.

Sasuke smirked "Happily married"

The blonde smiled with him "Good luck with your search then" she said as she walked off.

***1 Hour and many questions later***

Naruto sighed loudly "We're having absolute shit luck. The sun is going down and we've figured out fuck all about our target"

A voice from behind them caught their attention "I could help you out". It belonged to a spiky haired man sitting lazily on a bench behind them.

They approached him and Naruto asked "What do you mean?"

"I've been here since you guys showed up and starting asking about that person in that photo. I caught a glimpse of the photo when you were showing it to that blonde dame" he explained.

Sasuke gave him the photo "You've seen this guy?"

"Yeah, I've seen him" he replied.

"Really! Do you know where he's staying?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Unfortunately I don't. I only saw him once and he was just walking down the sidewalk" the man responded.

Naruto crossed his arms "Fuck! That means he could still be anywhere"

"Did he do anything, anything at all?" Sasuke questioned.

"He stopped to talk with three punks on the street" the man answered.

"Three punks?" Sasuke enquired.

"Yeah these three punks moved into one of the houses near mine not too long ago. And they had a lengthy discussion with that person in the photo that you're asking about." he explained.

"You said that they live near your house. Do you mind telling us where that is exactly?" Sasuke asked.

The man described to them where the three punks were staying.

"You're amazing man, thank you!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I've got one question though. Are you guys gangsters?" the man asked.

"What! No! Why would you even think that? We're uh FBI buddy" Naruto stuttered nervously.

Sasuke intervened, realizing that the man they were dealing with was quite keen "Yeah you're on the money"

"Who do you work under?" he enquired.

"Kakashi" Sasuke stated.

"Hatake?" the man asked.

"That's the one" Sasuke said.

The man nodded and with that Sasuke headed back to his car. Naruto looked at the spiky haired man a bit unsurely.

"Don't worry, I ain't no fucking snitch. If I wanted to I would've done it already" The man said as he stood up and left.

Naruto stared at him for a bit, he then turned the other way and jogged to catch with his partner.

"What do you think is going to happen when we get to that house?" Naruto asked when he caught up.

Sasuke glanced over at his partner momentarily before refocusing his gaze back in front of him "I don't know. But just make sure your gun is loaded"

***Author's Notes ***

Not much to say here. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The next one will probably be more gangster-ish but there will still be lots of dark humor

What can I say I love Neo-noir gangster, black comedy films. Pulp Fiction and Fargo are some of my favorite movies of all time.

See you in the next one!

-Cloud


	3. Bushwhack

Sasuke stopped the car in the middle of the street and stared out the window at the house "This looks like the place"

Naruto stuck his head out the window "This is the address that guy gave us? This place looks like a fucking dump"

"Yeah well I didn't expect a 5-star fucking hotel either but-" Sasuke was interrupted by a horn behind them.

The driver from the car behind them shouted out "Hey asshole you're blocking the goddamn road!"

Naruto, whose head was already out the window, turned around and flipped him off "Yeah well fuck you too buddy! You want to fight tough guy?"

Sasuke pulled the car over to the side of the road allowing the car behind them to pass. Naruto cursed at the driver once more as he passed by.

"Why did you let him pass? We should've gotten out of the car and beat his fucking ass is what we should've done" Naruto yelled, still looking at the car as it drove off in the distance.

"What are you a fucking madman? Do you know where we are? We're right outside the enemy's fucking hideout. We can't be causing a huge fucking scene. For all we know they probably heard all the fucking shouting and they've got guns at the ready now" Sasuke admonished.

Sasuke continued "You think when John Wilkes Booth was about to assassinate Lincoln he was fucking jumping around and hollering? Spoiler alert he fucking wasn't!"

"Alright, alright I'm sorry. We're still fucking breathing aren't we? And I don't see anyone prowling around so I think we're fine. Let's just calm the fuck down and forget this shit ever happened okay?" Naruto apologised.

Sasuke sighed "Alright look, we're going to go in there and we're going to politely ask these little punks what they know about our target and if they don't comply we'll just shoot them in the face. We don't know if they're armed or not so keep your gun at the ready okay?"

Naruto nodded and with that they both stepped out of the car. They looked around before stealthily creeping onto the doorstep of the house. Sasuke noticed a window with its curtains drawn so he peered inside to get a visual of the house. He glanced at Naruto and motioned him over, they both looked in.

They saw all three persons in the living room. One man (Dosu) was sitting by himself watching television, it was quite loud. The other two, a man (Zaku) and a woman (Kin), were sitting together, their lips were tightly locked.

Sasuke and Naruto approached the front door, the former whispered "They're all in the same room and they're all preoccupied, this is the perfect time to strike. On the count of three I'll kick down the door and we'll storm their asses. You ready?"

Naruto nodded as he took out his gun, Sasuke did the same and began the count. As soon as he reached 3 he kicked the door open and Naruto sprinted in, followed closely behind by his partner.

"Nobody fucking move! Keep your hands where I can see 'em" Naruto yelled as he pointed his gun at them.

Everyone stood up from their seat and put their hands up. Dosu walked forward a bit and yelled "What the fuck's going on?! Who the fuck are you?"

Naruto and Sasuke immediately pointed their guns at him, causing him to stop in his tracks. Naruto stepped forward and questioned him "Don't you know the meaning of 'nobody fucking move'?"

At that moment, seeing as Naruto and Sasuke were focussed on Dosu, Kin made a break for the back door. Sasuke however was quick on the draw, he lined up the gun perfectly and shot her once in the upper back. She fell face down and remained absolutely motionless.

"Kin!" Zaku shouted out "You fucker! You killed my girl!"

He was walking towards Kin's body but was halted by Sasuke, who placed his gun at his forehead "Don't you idiots listen? My partner said very clearly, and correct me if I'm wrong, he said DON'T FUCKING MOVE"

Sasuke pushed Zaku back towards the centre of the room, right next to Dosu. He then looked closely at Kin's body to see if she was alive or not.

"Oi prick! Is she alive or not?" Zaku questioned.

"When we came here, we gave one simple instruction, not to move. And the first fucking thing that girl of yours does, is move. Of course I'm going to have to kill her if she does stupid shit like that" Sasuke explained, not even bothering to look at Zaku

Zaku didn't respond instead he just gritted his teeth and stared angrily at Sasuke.

"Alright I'm going to search the rest of the house. Just in case there's anyone else crawling about. Stay here and keep an eye on them." Sasuke announced.

He then turned to the television "And shut that fucking thing off. It's loud as fuck, I don't think the entire goddamn neighbourhood needs to know what we're watching on the tele"

Naruto nodded and subsequently pointed his gun at the television and shot it down. Sasuke glared at him "Why the fuck did you shoot it?"

"Um because you said so" Naruto said sardonically.

"Um, asshole, I said turn it off not fucking assassinate it" Sasuke replied angrily.

"I would've had to turn my back on them to switch it off. They could've had their way with me if I did that. You've got to use your head sometimes Sasuke" Naruto chuckled.

Sasuke looked at him expressionlessly before sighing deeply.

"The fucking remote was right here" Dosu intervened as he reached for it on the table.

Naruto saw him reaching for something, it could've been a gun for all he knew, so he instinctively shot at his hand, blowing it off completely.

Dosu screamed out in pain "AHHH you motherfucker! You shot my hand off! AHHHH!"

"Jesus fucking Christ man!" Zaku shrieked as he retched.

Everyone in the room cringed a little at the gruesome sight, even Sasuke grimaced a little. Naruto apologised nonchalontly "Sorry dude, it looked like you were reaching for a gun. My bad"

"My bad?! My bad?! I'm going to fucking kill you!" Dosu screamed as he charged at a surprised Naruto.

A gunshot rang out, Dosu was hit in the back of his head. Naruto looked at him as he dropped to the floor and then looked up at his partner.

"You're a little slow on the draw aren't you partner?" Sasuke asked rhetorically with his hand still outstretched and smoke emanating from his gun.

Naruto took out his handkerchief and wiped off some of Dosu's blood that had splattered on him "I would've killed him if you hadn't butted in. And anyway don't you have the rest of the house to search or something. Go shoo, shoo"

Sasuke smirked "Alright fine but keep an eye on our friend here. And take extra special care of him. He no use to us if he's dead"

And with that Sasuke began his search. During this time Naruto bound Zaku's hands and legs together and tied him to a chair. It wasn't too long however before Sasuke returned as it was a relatively small house.

Zaku looked at them nervously as they discussed something in private. A bead of sweat dropped from his forehead "You assholes are sick. What the fuck do you want with me?"

They approached him, Naruto smiled devilishly "We just want to ask you a couple questions cocksucker. Don't worry nothing too difficult, even a dumbass like you can answer them"

Sasuke took out the picture of their target "Where can we find this man?"

Zaku's eyes widened in surprise when he saw the picture. Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other and smirked, he knew something.

***Author's Notes ***

Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I certainly did, I had a fun time writing it.

Definitely a lot more violence in this one… maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much. It's finally starting to feel like a real Gangster story now.

Anyways I'll see you guys in the next one.

-Cloud.


	4. Interrogation Methods

"Answer the fucking question. Where can we find him?" Naruto enquired, pointing to the picture in his partner's hand.

Zaku looked away and tried to regain his composure "I-I've never seen that person in my life"

Naruto scoffed "Bullshit! There's no use lying cocksucker, we know you know something"

Sasuke intervened "We saw your change in expression when you looked at the picture. It looked like you saw a fucking ghost. So cut the crap and just tell us what we want to know"

"Like I said, never seen him. So why don't you fags just fuck off to wherever you came from?!" Zaku said after a bit of a pause.

Sasuke pointed his gun at him "Alright if that's how you want it"

"How about we all chill the fuck out?" Naruto intervened as he placed his hand on Sasuke's gun to lower it, away from Zaku's face.

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, who motioned him to step back. Sasuke did so, letting his partner run the show.

"Alright look, uh… what's your name again?" Naruto asked, scratching his head.

Zaku stared at him for a bit before begrudgingly answering "…Zaku"

"Zaku huh? That's a nice name. Well Zak… do you mind if I call you Zak? Yeah fuck it I'll call you Zak. You see Zak the thing is, we're looking for the man in that photo. And we heard that you and your two dead buddies over there might have known something. So naturally we decided to come over and pay you guys a friendly little visit"

Sasuke intervened "And that's where everything got fucked up. Your little friends thought it would be a great idea to fuck around. Now look at them, one of them is taking a bath in a pool of their own blood and I've got little chunks of the other guy's brain underneath my shoe. And worst of all, now we have to rely on your dumb monkey ass to provide us with answers. Fucking terrific eh?"

"Fuck you, you son of a bitch!" Zaku yelled, trying to break free of his restraints.

"Just forget about him, it's his time of the month or something" Naruto chuckled nervously as he pushed Sasuke away.

Naruto continued "What my partner was trying to say was that you're very important to us. And if you're a good boy and tell us what you know we'll let you go. It's as simple as that"

Zaku smirked "Yeah alright I know the guy you're looking for. But that means I've got the power in this fucking relationship. And I ain't going to say shit until you motherfuckers untie me. You got it?!"

Naruto chuckled "You're funny Zak. Got a real sense of humor… got an active fucking imagination as well. You don't have any power. We have the power and you know why? It's because we have guns…and you know where the guns are pointed? They're pointed up your ass Zak"

Naruto stooped down to speak with Zaku at eye level "The thing is Zak, this is going to go one of two ways. My way, which is the easy way, or my partner's way, which… well, you probably want to avoid if I'm perfectly honest with you"

He continued "My way is quite simple, just tell me what I want to know and everything will be peachy"

Zaku replied with much resolve "I ain't no snitch so you and your boyfriend over there might as well fuck off"

Naruto grabbed the back of Zaku's head and pulled him closer "Look you little shit, you see my partner behind me right? Well that guy is a real asshole, he doesn't give a fuck okay? He'll beat the living shit out of you! So Zak, I'm asking you one last time, where is the man in the photo?"

Zaku paused and looked at the ground. Naruto intervened impatiently "Zak, if you don't answer me, I'm calling my partner over, and he's going to rip your fucking arms off."

Zaku looked Naruto directly in his eyes and subsequently spat in his face. Naruto pushed him back violently, almost throwing down the chair, and took out his handkerchief to wipe his face.

Naruto walked away, as he passed by Sasuke he said to him "Alright, fuck him up". Zaku and Sasuke then looked at each other, Sasuke gave him a grim smirk. An omen of things to come.

***15 Seconds Later***

Sasuke had momentarily removed Zaku's restraints and forced him onto his knees. Sasuke was behind him, with his foot pushing his back to the ground while he pulled his arms in the opposite direction.

Zaku screamed in agony "AHHHHH stop you're going to rip my fucking arms off!"

Sauske pulled harder and harder until he felt the dislocations, first in Zaku's left arm, and subsequently his right arm. Zaku was screaming even louder than before as Sasuke let go of him. He hit the floor face first and his arms fell limply along with him.

"Well then are you ready to start talking friend?" Naruto asked, his face grimaced from what just took place. Zaku didn't respond, instead he just laid there on the floor screaming in agony.

"Doesn't look like it. I'll break his fucking legs then" Sasuke grimly stated, as he took hold of Zaku's right leg.

As soon as Zaku felt this he shouted out "No more, no more! I'll talk, just no fucking more!"

Sasuke released his grip "Alright start talking then". Zaku then went into detail about where the man was staying. Naruto jotted down a couple notes while he spoke. They then picked Zaku up and bound him to the chair once more.

"Oh yeah what's this guy's name?" Sauske asked just before he put the photo away.

Zaku responded weakly "It's Lord Orochimaru"

Naruto burst out in laughter "Hahaha you call him Lord? Do you suck his fucking dick too?"

Sasuke chuckled slightly. Zaku yelled out angrily "Fuck you assholes! I told you what you wanted to hear. Why the fuck am I still tied up?"

"We're not fucking stupid. All that shit you just told us may not necessarily be true. It could all be a fairy tale that you just concocted on the spot because your balls were in a grip" Sasuke explained.

"You fucking idiot, you can't leave me here the cops will find me. And if they do I'll tell 'em all about you motherfuckers" Zaku retorted, with a wry smile.

Naruto chuckled "You don't get it do you? We work for Kakashi Hatake. He controls this side of the world. The police, the politicians all those fuckers, they're all in his pocket, they're all under his control. We could shoot the leader of this village right in front of the cops and they wouldn't do a fucking thing"

Zaku gritted his teeth in anger "Well you can't just leave me here tied to this chair!"

"Look, when we go to the address you gave us and confirm its accuracy. We'll come right back and let you go. Until then, just stay here and keep your fucking mouth shut" Sasuke stated as he and Naruto headed for the door.

Zaku cursed at them as they left the house. They made their way back to their car under the light of the moon which had just appeared. It was getting late however Naruto and Sasuke didn't mind. Killing was best done at night anyway.

***Author's Notes***

Hey guys that's another chapter in the books. I believe that I said this fic will be about 5 chapters for the most. It seems I was wrong, it'll probably require a sixth chapter judging by how the story is progressing.

I also hope you enjoyed that bit about Sasuke dislocating Zaku's arms. I intended to do a torture scene and I figured it would be a cool homage.

Anyways I'll see you guys in the next one.

-Cloud


	5. Hostage

The smoke from Sasuke's freshly lit cigarette started filling the car "Hey, can you check the glove compartment box? There should be some extra shells laying around"

Naruto opened it and groped around. He felt empty cigarette packs and some scrap paper but no bullets "Are you sure? Besides the legion of empty cigarette packs, there ain't shit in here"

"Fuck a duck! I told Sai to leave some extra shells when he was packing the guns" Sasuke bemoaned.

Naruto checked his gun barrel "Eh forget about it. I've got 4 bullets here. How much do you got?"

"Same" Sasuke replied, not bothering to check as he remembered he only fired twice.

"See that's 8 shots between us. And honestly we probably won't even need all of 'em" Naruto reassured.

"Well, that's in an ideal scenario. What if this Orochimaru guy has company? We'd essentially be going in there with our pants around our ankles" Sasuke stated.

Naruto chuckled "That's the worst case scenario. Quit being such a fucking pessimist dude"

"Someone's got to be the voice of reason. Plus I'd rather not get killed because of some poor fucking planning" Sasuke said as he took a pull of his cigarette.

Naruto scoffed "Oh please! No one's going to die… well, no one on our side at least. You're the deadliest man in our gang. With those 4 bullets you could take out an entire room full of people. And even if you fail, I still have 4 shells myself. Although I'm not the sharpest shot, I could still hit a barn door!"

Sasuke smirked "Well, it doesn't even matter does it? The fact of the matter is that we HAVE to kill him now. If he gets word that his little underlings were killed, that slippery bastard would find himself on the other side of the fucking hemisphere"

"Yeah you're right. We have no time to be dicking around. If he skips town Kakashi will have our asses. We've just got to go headstrong" Naruto admitted.

After a couple more minutes of driving they reached their destination. Sasuke parked the car and they both exited the vehicle. The pair observed the building carefully from the bottom up. It was a seedy apartment complex, not the type of place you'd live in if you had the choice.

"What number room are we looking for again?" Sasuke questioned.

Naruto took out the piece of paper the he had scribbled information on "Room 48"

They entered the building, the interior was quite bland. It looked as though it hadn't seen a fresh coat of paint in years. This didn't surprise Naruto and Sauske, it didn't seem like a 5 star resort in any case. They approached the front desk, there was an employee at the counter, however he was asleep.

Naruto glanced over at his partner "Real fucking professional eh?"

"Works out fine for us" Sasuke said as he continued walking past the counter.

Naruto looked back at the employee, who was snoring loudly, before catching up with his partner.

"Jeez that guy was passed out like a fucking log!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Well, if he was awake we'd have to make a reservation to get in here. The fact that he was asleep meant that we could simply waltz right past him" Sasuke digressed.

Naruto nodded in agreement. The walked down a hallway that contained rooms tightly packed together. They ascended some stairs which led them to more rooms but not the one in question. They climbed yet another set of stairs and walked down the hall, their footsteps becoming light and measured. Sasuke stuck out his hand, stopping Naruto in his tracks. The door in front of him was marked 48.

Sasuke took out his gun and got in position on one side of the door and Naruto did the same on the other side. Sasuke whispered "Same drill as last time. You ready?"

Naruto nodded and Sasuke subsequently kicked the door open, allowing them to storm in. A man was sitting on a couch directly opposite the door, they aimed their guns at him. It was him, the man they were looking for, the snake, Orochimaru.

He looked up at them calmly, a slice of pizza in his hand "Sorry fellas I think you have the wrong room I already got my pizza"

"We're sorry to bother you during din din but we're here on behalf of Kakashi Hatake. You may remember him, he's the guy you fucking ripped off" Naruto quipped sardonically.

"Ah so you're Kakashi's lackeys. What the fuck do you want with me?" he questioned, taking a bite of his pizza.

Sasuke intervened "Let's just say, I hope you enjoyed 'The Last Supper'"

Just then a door to Sasuke's left banged open and a large dog ran out and charged at him. Sasuke tried to point his gun at the dog but it was too fast and it lunged at him, biting his forearm. As he fell backwards he fired two shots into the air in a desperate attempt to hit anything. Sasuke hit the floor and knocked over Naruto, who was right behind him, in the process

Naruto fired off an instinctive shot as well when he fell over. The impact of their fall caused them to drop their guns which were lost into the darkened corner of the room. The dog's teeth were sunk into Sasuke's arm, which was being tugged around as if he were a ragdoll.

"Shoot this fucking thing!" Sasuke grimaced as he barely managed to hold off the powerful dog.

Naruto groped around the floor to find the guns as the room was very poorly lit. He felt the cold metal of one of the guns and so he grabbed it, spun around and shot the beast twice. Sasuke pushed the dog off of him and got up to his knees, clutching his injured forearm.

"Fuck! Where is he?" Sasuke asked, clearly in pain from his wound.

Naruto looked up at the couch where he was sitting, he was no longer there. The window however was open. Naruto rushed over and looked outside, he was running down the stairs of the fire escape.

"Shit! He's getting away" Naruto exclaimed as he climbed out the window.

Sasuke quickly found the other gun from the floor and followed his partner out the window. They descended the stairs at a much faster rate than their target, who was quite an aged man. Orochimaru reached the end of the fire escape and jumped down unto a pile of garbage bags to break his fall. He collected himself and hobbled off quickly onto the street.

Orochimaru looked back and saw Naruto and Sasuke jump down as well "Fuck! They're right on my ass"

"I can't outrun these guys. Better try something else" he thought to himself as he entered a dark alleyway on his right.

Sasuke caught a glimpse of him as he did so. They followed him but stopped at the entrance to the alley, it was almost pitch black. The moon had provided a bit of light, however it was only just enough to see a couple feet in front of you.

Naruto could see the outline of a garbage bin on the left hand side of the alleyway. He heard a bit of rustling, seemingly coming from that exact direction. Naruto pointed to the bin with his gun and whispered to Sasuke "He's in there"

Sasuke nodded and whispered back "You lift the top off. I'll be ready with the gun"

Naruto positioned himself in front of the bin and Sasuke at the side. In one fluid motion Naruto flung open the cover and Sasuke peered in with his gun at the ready.

Sasuke squinted as he checked inside "It's just a fucking rat"

At this moment Orochimaru appeared from the shadows behind Naruto. He grabbed him from behind and managed to disarm him. Sasuke pointed his gun at Orochimaru, while Naruto struggled vehemently to try to shake him off. It was no use however, he had gotten the gun and it was pointed at Naruto's temple.

***Author's Notes***

I'm not going to lie, I kind of struggled to write this one. I don't know, it just didn't flow like the others did. I still hope that it turned out alright and you guys enjoyed it.

This might just be the penultimate chapter… or maybe not who really knows? All I know is we've entered the climax of the story!

Anyways on to the next one.

-Cloud


	6. Risk and Reward

Orochimaru stepped out carefully unto the street, still holding Naruto hostage. He looked from side to side to see if there was anyone around, there wasn't. Sasuke closely followed him as he did so, his gun still pointed at Orochimaru.

"Put the gun down or I'll blow his fucking brains out!" Orochimaru ordered.

Sasuke remained steadfast, he did not even make an attempt to lower his gun.

"I fucking mean it! Put the gun down or I will fucking kill him!" Orochimaru reiterated as he pulled the hammer back.

Naruto intervened nervously "Sasuke, quit fucking around. This guy isn't joking, he cocked the gun for fuck's sake. He means business"

Orochimaru smirked at Sasuke "Heh, your friend isn't as stupid as he looks. You best listen to him"

"Hey fuck you too! You snake looking motherfucker" Naruto retorted angrily at the last statement.

Sasuke clenched his teeth, there was nothing he could do, his partner's life was at stake. He would have to give in to Orochimaru's demands. He was about to lower his gun when he remembered something, something that could change everything.

"That gun you have, it has no bullets. The chamber is as empty as your fucking head" Sasuke stated defiantly.

The smirk left Orochimaru's face "Trying to bluff me eh? Getting a little fucking desperate aren't we?"

"I'm not bluffing, we came here with 4 bullets each. When that fucking dog of yours attacked us I wasted 2 shots and my partner wasted 1 and then our guns got mixed up together in the darkness. Eventually my partner found one and shot that fucking mutt twice" Sasuke explained.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at Sasuke as if he were trying to discern whether he was lying or telling the truth. Naruto intervened, still being held hostage "Uh I don't really understand what's going on. But all I really want to know is… whether this fucker is going to shoot me or not?"

"Let me put it simply. There were 2 guns, one had 3 bullets and the other had 2 bullets. You picked up one of these guns and you shot the dog twice. Which means that the gun in your possession either has 1 bullet or no bullets at all" Sasuke stated plainly.

"Bullshit! Every single word, fucking bullshit!" Orochimaru yelled, starting to sound slightly nervous.

"Well pull the fucking trigger then" Sasuke said obstinately.

Naruto intervened once more "Whoa, whoa that's easy for you to say when it's my fucking life on the line. This ain't no fucking game"

Orochimaru anxiously tapped the gun's trigger with his finger, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead underlined the fact that this was a tense situation. He slowly began to squeeze the trigger. Everyone's breathing had halted for a moment. He pulled the trigger all the way and… _click._ Nothing happened.

Orochimaru dropped the gun, every muscle in his body had gone limp. Naruto took advantage of this and wrestled himself free. Orochimaru didn't fight back, he just stood there stupidly, he was smart enough to know his fate.

"Nice try buddy but now your ass is grass!" Naruto exclaimed as he turned around and punched Orochimaru in the face, knocking him down.

Naruto stooped over Orochimaru's body, his fist raised in the air, ready to throw another punch. Sasuke held his hand back "Who are you Mike Fucking Tyson? Calm down will ya, he's already fucking unconscious"

"Did this motherfucker take your gun and hold you hostage? No? Didn't think so!" Naruto retorted angrily.

"That one's on you. You were being careless as usual. Just be happy I saved your sorry ass" Sasuke said.

Naruto stood up "Now that you mention it. How did you know that the gun he had was the empty one?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders "I didn't know. There was a 50 percent chance that the gun was empty so I just went with it. Luckily it worked out in our favour"

Naruto gave him a little shove "Dude, what the fuck?! You didn't fucking know for sure?! What if it was the gun that had the bullet?! I would've been fucking dead!"

"I'm sorry but if you didn't notice our hands were kind of tied back there. We had no other fucking options, he would've gotten away. So I weighed the options and I had a 50 percent chance of being right and I fucking was. Just give it a rest will ya" Sasuke stated nonchalantly.

"50% chance of being right?! There was also a 50% chance of my head getting blown clean off!" Naruto shouted.

"Alright look, if you did get shot, I would've killed him on the spot and our mission would've been accomplished. Then I would've driven back to Konoha and told Hinata that you died because of me. Then she would proceed to beat the living shit out of me and then I would die, in pain, alone, in a hospital bed due to internal fucking injuries that I sustained. So both of our fucking lives were at risk just now. Fortunately for us, we get to live to see another day. So let's just move the fuck on and forget this ever happened alright" Sasuke explained.

Naruto sighed deeply "Let's just get this fucker to the car"

They picked him up and carried him over to their vehicle. Sasuke retrieved some tie straps from the car and bound Orochimaru's hands and feet. Naruto finally placed a bag over his head and threw him on the floor, in the backseat of the car. They entered the car and then began their long journey back.

***10 minutes and a bit of driving later***

Naruto took out a large map and unfolded it, he pressed it up against the dashboard and tried to make sense of it all. "Okay, we're here, in Otogakure. How the fuck are we supposed to find ourselves where we need to be?" he mumbled aloud as he traced out a path on the map with his fingers.

Orochimaru groaned loudly from the backseat, it seemed he had regained consciousness. "You're telling me you fucking idiots don't even know how to get back to Konoha" he said weakly.

"We're not going to Konoha, we have a different destination in mind" Sasuke responded drily.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Get this fucking bag off my head! Aren't you taking me back to see Kakashi?" Orochimaru enquired.

Naruto intervened "You'd like that wouldn't you? Not a fucking chance! You're too much of a slippery, elusive bastard. You would see Kakashi, promise him his money and then turn tail and run the first fucking chance you get!"

"And that's why we're taking you to the Valley of the End instead of Konoha. You've heard of the Valley of the End haven't you?" Sasuke questioned.

"Yeah, I've heard about the Valley of the End" Orochimaru responded.

"And what did you hear about the Valley of the End?" Sasuke asked once more.

"That's where your gang assassinates people and where you bury their bodies" he replied, almost sounding a bit disheartened.

"That's right. When we get there, we're going to set you down on your knees, we're going to place a gun at the back of your head, we're going to shoot you and we're going to bury you there" Sasuke stated grimly.

Orochimaru chuckled devilishly "Fan-fucking-tastic!"

***Author's Notes***

Okay this is the penultimate chapter…for reals this time. To think, at the beginning I said that this fic should be less than 5 chapters. Seems I was a bit off.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The humor got quite dark at some points, but hey, as I always say dark humor is the best form of humor!

-Cloud


	7. Pizza

Naruto was still struggling with the map "This map is fucking useless!" he bemoaned.

"Maybe it's not the map" Sasuke stated drily.

Naruto turned to him angrily "Fuck you! Your negativity isn't helping the situation"

"You should know how to get there. You've been there a couple of times haven't you?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah but all those times I went with Neji and he was driving so I don't really remember the path that he used" he replied.

Naruto stroked his chin thoughtfully as if he was in deep thought. Finally, he came up with an idea "Hey uh Orochimaru, that's your name right? Well whatever, I don't really care. Anyways do you know how to get to the Valley of the End?"

Sasuke stared at him with a confused look "Why the fuck are you asking him?"

"Well you and I don't know how to get there. I might as well ask him" Naruto replied.

"He's got a fucking bag over his head. He can't see shit" Sasuke said.

"Yeah but it's located between the border of the Land of Fire and the Land of Sound. So maybe he can help us out you know?" Naruto reasoned out.

"Naruto, I'm not sure if you remember, but we're taking him there to murder him. Why in God's holy name would he fucking help us?" Sasuke stated sardonically.

Naruto didn't have an answer but just then Orochimaru broke the silence "I can help you" he said plainly.

Naruto smirked at Sasuke "See I told you! You know Sasuke, it would serve you well to start listening to me more" Naruto then pivoted around on his seat to turn his attention to Orochimaru "Yeah you were saying that you could help me?"

"Yeah it's just a bit of advice. Maybe if you pull your head out of your ass you might be able to read the fucking map a little better" Orochimaru chuckled.

Sasuke let out a small laugh, which drew the ire of Naruto. He turned to his partner "Why the fuck are you laughing?"

"I didn't laugh, I was just uh clearing my throat" Sasuke said, still smiling slightly

"Clearing your throat?! Yeah right! I didn't know you and that bastard were best fucking friends" Naruto sulked.

Orochimaru chuckled "Aw don't get too jealous boy" he taunted.

"Alright you're going to go back to fucking sleep!" Naruto yelled as he hit him with the butt of his gun, rendering him unconscious once more.

"Oi will you take it easy, I don't want a fucking bloody mess in the backseat of my car" Sasuke complained.

Naruto resumed his struggle to read the map "Let's just find this place so we could finish this mission once and for all!"

They did in fact make it to their destination, but not before countless miles and a few hours of driving. Orochimaru by this time had come to, but he had remained silent for much of the journey, presumably to avoid Naruto's wrath.

The Valley of the End was used exclusively by the Konoha gang for one specific reason, getting rid of bodies. The stream leading to the valley was intermittent so sometimes the valley was submerged, other times it was bone dry. This was well suited for its purpose of hiding bodies because more often than not it was submerged underwater, making it effectively impossible for police to dig up anything.

Naruto undid the restraints on Orochimaru's feet, forgoing the one on his hands and leaving the bag over his head, and pulled him out of the car. Sasuke placed the gun behind his back and pushed him, indicating to walk forward. Naruto retrieved a shovel from the trunk and the three of them walked into the Valley of the End until Sasuke deemed it a fair distance to stop. He forced Orochimaru unto his knees and removed the bag from his head.

Orochimaru looked around, it was the early hours of the morning, in fact it was starting to get a little bright out. He turned to Naruto "Ah so this is where you and your boyfriend come to mess around huh?" he questioned jokingly.

"No, it's where me and your mom come to mess around!" Naruto retorted angrily.

"Really?! Well my mother died a while ago. But if you're into dead bodies and stuff that's cool too dude. However I would recommend that you get some psychological help for that necrophilia though" Orochimaru joked once more.

Naruto was red with anger "Just kill the son of a bitch will ya!" he told his partner.

Sasuke, who was standing behind Orochimaru, placed the gun at the back of his head and cocked it. It was strange though, it was much quieter than usual. Normally when Sasuke was about to assassinate someone they would at least beg for their life. But Orochimaru just waited there patiently and silently.

Orochimaru turned his head slightly to see Sasuke "Well…'just kill the son of a bitch will ya'" he imitated Naruto, almost laughing.

Sasuke acquiesced and pulled the trigger, killing him instantly. He stood over the body thinking to himself "This guy must have been a cold blooded killer back in the day"

Naruto then interrupted his train of thought "Finally, that guy was getting on my fucking nerves!" He yelled as he began digging a grave.

Naruto dug a hole just big enough to accommodate the body, which Sasuke subsequently pushed in. They then piled the dirt back into the hole concealing the corpse.

"Alright it looks good" Naruto said, patting the dirt down with his shovel.

Sasuke looked up at the sky, rain seemed all but certain "Let's get a move on. It looks like it's going to rain. And I don't want to be here when this place is underwater, for obvious fucking reasons"

They retreated to their car and began driving once more, however their destination this time was home. The mission was accomplished.

"Hell of an assignment huh?" Naruto mused as he sank lazily into his seat.

Sasuke was rifling through his pockets in search of his cigarettes. He finally found them and placed one in his mouth "Yeah, wasn't very pretty but we got it done"

Naruto went ahead and lit up the cigarette for his partner "Yeah you can say that again! But for some reason I can't help but think that we forgot something… Oh shit! We forgot to untie what's his name! Uh…Zak!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke exhaled a lungful of smoke "Don't worry about it. I made a call when you were off doing some shit"

"Huh you made a call?" Naruto repeated perplexedly.

***At Zaku's place***

There was a knock on the door.

"Who's there?" Zaku asked weakly, still bound to the chair in the centre of the room.

"Uh the pizza you ordered sir" the delivery boy outside yelled.

"Pizza?" Zaku thought to himself "I didn't order no fucking pizza"

He then smirked grimly and cursed silently to himself "Fucking Gangs of Konoha!"

"Those cheeky bastards!" he shouted out as he remembered Naruto and Sasuke.

THE END

***Author's Notes***

Well that's all folks! My first completed story!

It wasn't perfect to say the least but I'm pretty happy with the overall outcome.

I hope you all enjoyed reading because I certainly enjoyed writing it.

I'll see you all in the next fic. Til then goodbye!

-Cloud


End file.
